INFERTILITY WARRIOR Blog

The Duggers just had #18.  They have a television show and a book.  She gets pregnant a few months after she gives birth.  As an infertile, I must ask .  .  .  are all the people that tell infertiles that they should just adopt telling Super Fertiles that they should adopt because there are so many children that need homes??? 

Are the Super Fertiles being told they are being selfish for having so many kids?  For not adopting older children or children with special needs?  Sure they are looked at as a bit of a freakshow, but I don't hear people critisizing them as much as they critisizing infertiles.

What about your run-of-the-mill fertile that has 2 or 3 kids?  Are people questioning them?  Telling them about how many children need homes?  Judging them for wanting to reproduce their own DNA? I really doubt it.

So the vitriol, anger, resentment is because it is harder for an infertile to have what is thought of as "normal" in our society?  Who would be angry at a person that worked to overcome any other disability? 

Can you imagine someone critisizing a person who underwent many procedures and tons of therapy to be able to walk without braces or a cane?  Hell no! Anyone would understand the desire for a disabled person to pursue any and every option to become normally 'abled.'

Infertiles deserve respect and admiration, just like any other person disabled in a way that diminishes their constitutional right to pursue happiness.   

Posted by Infertility Warrior at 07:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

Many infertile women and couples go into treatments expecting their problem to be quickly resolved.  In some cases they get lucky and on the first or second procedure they are pregnant.  Terrific!  For too many people the first IUI or IVF is just the first step of the infertility journey and unrealistic expectations make the Big Fat Negative (BFN) results much harder.

I wish all doctors would fess up (I am sure some do) and say, "This may be a sprint, but be prepared for a marathon."  I will never forget the first Reproductive Endricronologist telling me after my second failed IVF that the first one really didn't "count" because in retrospect he did my first egg retrieval a day too early. Had he known then how many eggs I would produce he would have waited another day.  On my first IVF I had 4 mature eggs and on my second I had 18.  Thanks Doc, somehow that first IVF seemed to count - in dollars!

So why a 'warrior?'  A warrior is laser focused on her goal, tenacious, willing to do whatever it takes, and knows that no one (not even her doctor or partner) wants her to become a mother as much as she does.  Resilient, defiant, and outspoken.  She did not choose this fight, this fight chose her.

A warrior thinks for herself, does not hesitate to question her doctor, get second opinions, or even change doctors.  A warrior does not quit, she does not give up.  She may change strategies (procedures, donor egg/sperm, adoption) but she does not give up.  She will not allow Infertility to defeat her.

An Infertility Warrior summons the fierce, primal strength of a momma bear protecting her cubs to fight for her future children.  She stands up straight, chin up, feet firmly on the ground and tells Infertility "Let's go A@@hole."   (It's helpful if you have a shield and a giant syringe filled with cold progesterone in peanut oil!)

Will you stumble, will you cry, will you lie on the ground fighting for breath? YES!  But you must get up.  You must get up and keep fighting the injustice and the downright evil that is Infertility!  You need to get into the mindset of fighting for your child's life because in a very real way, you are.

Wear your Fertility Hope pendant and unleash your inner Infertility Warrior!!!

Posted by Infertility Warrior at 09:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

In the news this past week:

More Magazine December 2008 (Meredith Vieira on the cover) has an article on page 73 about Diana Thomas "The Egg Banker" who started a donor egg service is expanding with a new division, Cryo Eggs International that will offer women the option of using frozen eggs, eliminating the need to sync the donor and recipient's cycles as well as eliminating the geographical considerations.  Awesome stuff, though still early in perfecting the freezing of eggs it will revolutionize donating eggs and hopefully lower the cost!! 

USA Today December 4, 2008 (Life Section) had an article entitled "Fertility patients unsure what to do with leftover embryos" http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-12-04-embryos-fertility_N.htm Yeah.  I have some personal experience with this one which I will explain in a future post.  A study showed two-thirds are likely to be used, the rest don't really know.  This will continue to be an issue as more and more women use infertility services.

The Wall Street Journal December 9, 2008 in Health "Ova Time: Women Line Up To Donate Eggs - For Money"  http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122878524586490129.html Ok, I don't like the last 'for money' but a very fair article raising awareness and that is a good thing. 

After all the cycles I have been through where I had to pay to go through the discomfort of super ovulating, the thought of getting paid $2,500 to $5,000 to just produce the eggs sounds like a pretty good deal.  No anxiety or devastation of a negative pregnancy test? 

Too bad they aren't looking for 41 year old egg donors with proven infertility!!!!!!!

Posted by Infertility Warrior at 10:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Posted by Infertility Warrior at 12:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

In hopes of boosting your infertility, have you ever dyed your white underwear pink?  If you have, you are probably an Infertility Warrior.

A year ago I read in one of the asian medicine/accupuncture books that to warm up the energy (chi) of the female reproductive parts a woman should wear red or pink and should definitely avoid cool colors like blue or white (especially important for underwear.)  So I went out asap, bought some red Rit dye and like a mad scientist I worked in the basement sink soaking my white undies in a steaming pail of red liquid, mixing with a wooden paint spatula to even out all that fertility enhancing chi.  Whatever it takes right? 

No baby (YET) but the majority of my underwear is some shade of pink or red.  I'm not taking any chances  .  .  . 

Posted by Infertility Warrior at 06:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)