INFERTILITY WARRIOR Blog

Like most of you, over the past 5 years I have spent a lot of time on the internet researching fertility, perhaps too much time.  Today I am thankful for my tenacious nature.  At first the idea of medical tourism for infertility sounded 'out there' but I did more investigating.

In the states one IVF cycle is around $15,000.  Donor cycles start at around $25,000.  Hopefully, someday soon my company will really be rolling and these numbers won't be staggering.  Right now they are unthinkable, especially when I know all too well that a cycle is a roll of the dice at best.

I found several intriguing organizations that coordinate foreign IVF services.  I found three countries I personally felt most comfortable with; Czech Republic, Argentina, and South Africa.  I narrowed it down to the Czech Republic because the cost and time to fly to Czech was best for me.  I have talked most recently to "My IVF Alternative" www.myivfalternative.com founded by Mag, a lovely, smart Infertility Warrior, originally from the Czech Republic.  CHECK OUT HER STORY - WOW!!!   http://www.myivfalternative.com/diary-2008  Are you ready for the numbers?

Non-Donor IVF Cycle (includes meds + 2 wks stay in CZ) about $5,500 + airfare

Donor IVF Cycle (includes meds + 1 wk stay in CZ) about $7,500 + airfare

Yeah, let that sink in.  Are we being overcharged here in the states?  I'm starting to think so.  A friend of mine who recently had an IVF cycle that was covered by insurance said after looking through the bills she estimated that the insurance had a negotiated cost with the clinic of $6,000.  If they can profitibly perform an IVF cycle for 6k, why are we paying out of pocket $12k or more?

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Once in a while I am reminded how soul crushing infertility can be.  How even the strongest "warrior" can be brought down to her knees .  .  . 

Dee is 36 and has been battling infertility for several years.  She is a free lance writer living in New York with her hubby who she lovingly refers to as SB (for SlutBoy.)  She is 18 weeks pregnant with twins, but things don't look good.  Her doctors are very pessimistic as her water broke weeks ago and one of the twins has very little amniotic fluid.  Her doctors attitude is awful and I think they need a big old thick needle shot of in the ass of compassion - mixed with very cold peanut oil - twice a day!!!  (Those who have endured the progesterone shots will get this reference.)

I have been following her blog for several weeks called "I'm not ashamed of having infertility - just pissed."  After some time in the hospital, she is home and understandably worried and down.  Any prayers, good energy, miracles, etc you have she could use.  If you would like to check out her blog and leave her thoughts of validation and love, go to http://notashamedinfertility.blogspot.com

Posted by Infertility Warrior at 06:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

I am a cancer survivor.  At 34 I was single and a sales professional, still trying to find Mr. Right and start a family.  I found out I had a malignant tumor and was treated.  For my rare type of cancer the survival rate is 5% over 5 years if it returns.  So before I begin, I “get it” about cancer – it is life-threatening.  Approximately 41,000 women will die from breast cancer this year.

Posted by Infertility Warrior at 01:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Let me state in no uncertain terms that I am all for creative artificial reproduction in traditional, and non-traditional families.  Families are about love and belonging, period.  While I admit to having a little trouble labeling Thomas Beatie a "man" (he still has ovaries, womb, vagina, etc) I am totally cool with "him" having a baby and wish his family the best -   www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27703442/  I wouldn't want someone to judge my fertility choices .  .  .  .  .  BUT  .  .  .

WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!  He just had a baby in June and he is in his 1st trimester with number 2?!?!!?  So someone who has lived as a man and taken male hormones for 10 years easily gets pregnant twice and I (and my millions of infertile sisters) DON'T?!?!?  WTF!  Really?  Come On!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's bad enough that we get "lapped" by highly fertile women, but on a very self-centered level, this is just over the line BS!  It reminds me of the old saying "we can send a man to the moon" but now it's "we can get a 'man' pregnant, but you, not so much." 

I cannot be the only one irritated by this.  Feel free to vent -

Posted by Infertility Warrior at 05:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

Baby Mama, Then She Found Me, Miss Conception, Juno

“Baby Mama”, starring Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.  I love these two funny ladies and for the most part I liked this movie.  Even though it is a comedy they did show at least show the frustration/anguish of BFNs.  Greg Kinnear is yummy.  It was silly with some serious parts, but I had a heavy dose of eye-rolling at the end (spoiler alert – someone gets pregnant unexpectedly and naturally at the end – because that ALWAYS happens in real life.  Just relax ladies!)

“Then She Found Me” starring Helen Hunt, Bette Midler, Colin Firth, Matthew Broderick.  Serious drama, not super fun, kind of disjointed, (spoiler alert – someone has a quickie and doggone it, you guessed it, got knocked up unexpectedly.)  Turns bittersweet – miscarriage warning which is tough to watch as I know it is a fear of so many of us.  I wish Helen Hunt weighed more in the movie, it was distracting that she didn’t gain the 15 or more pounds during her treatments like I did.

“Miss Conception” starring Heather Graham.  She has an English accent  – weird.  This one takes the cake for eye rolls. Truly ridiculous for anyone that has gone through any infertility treatments.  Can’t they hire an infertility consultant to sort of get into the realm of believability???  Heather Graham’s character discovers premature menopause runs in her family (she is approx 35) and is told by a fertility doctor  that she has ONE EGG LEFT and she will ovulate it in two weeks.  WTF?  Having sex in those five days around ovulation will be her last chance to become pregnant (because it is the last egg she has, not the last ‘good’ egg, HER LAST EGG.)  Sure, I can identify with her prayers, desperation, prenatal vitamin popping, fertility idols, and the elaborate plans of having sex with strangers (kidding on the prayers part – Haaaa!) 

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Within a week I heard the following from two different women.

The first was Infertility Interaction was when I was shopping and in line started talking to a woman with a very cute toddler.  She complimented me on something I was wearing and when I complimented her back on her little boy she said "Wanna trade?."  Of course she was joking but I thought "If only she knew!!!"  Trade?  In an instant, right?  It hit me how often "fertiles" take their fertility for granted.

The second was from an acquaintance who I disclosed my struggles with infertility.  I explained all I had tried - the timed intercourse, the IUIs, IVFs, and FET, and how hard it has all been.  Her response was "why don't you just adopt?", followed quickly by "maybe you just aren't meant to have kids."  In boxing that would be called a one two punch.  This is a good-hearted woman, but like most of society, someone that is just unaware with the subject of infertility.  She wasn't trying to be mean, but those are the common knee-jerk responses.  This must change. 

The hurt that these comments inflict, add to the tremendous heartache of infertility and it can change.  We Infertility Survivors and our friends and family will lead the way out of the dark, shame, stigma, and taboo.  Through symbology and openess we will transform the way infertility is viewed.  I am determined to make a difference and realize the power of the visual, of symbols.  This is why I created the Infertility Awareness symbol (heart within a spiral) and the Fertility Hope pendant.  With your help and openess, there will be a day when women (and men) will be proud of their fight to become parents. 

Posted by Infertility Warrior at 02:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)