INFERTILITY WARRIOR Blog

I have been a loyal watcher of The View from the beginning, recording it when I can't watch it live.  Since I am home with my baby I watched today as the subject of infertility came up due to a recent study that showed how a woman's egg quality diminishes sooner than previously thought.  They cited that by 30 95% of a woman's eggs are bad.  I don't know about the study BUT the women kept talking and .  .  . 

Sherri said how she wants to have another child but she is too busy now so she needs to freeze her eggs.  Sherri turns 43 in April. She also did IVF to have her son.  I cannot believe she is so ignorant of the facts.  At 42 her chances with a fresh egg IVF are around 5%.  Most 42 year olds are using young donor eggs.  She is not a good candidate for egg freezing and the procedure is far from perfected for even young eggs.  Ignorance may be bliss - but I find it unsettling that all the women are so UNAWARE of the facts of infertility and they perpetuate these untruths. 

Joy was the only one that gave me hope.  Barbara was saying how women in their 60's were giving birth these days and Joy said (twice) "but they aren't using their own eggs" (Thank you Joy!)  To which Barbara responds "but they are their biological children"  Huh?  OMG.  Then Elizabeth is laughing about how she is worried about preventing a pregnancy (she must not know anyone struggling with infertility or she is just plain smug about her fertility.)

This, my friends, is a perfect example of the problem, the lack of awareness.  They went on to the next subject with all this misinformation hanging in the air.  Since they haven't been interested in my attempts to contact them I just hope some fertility doctor will.

Posted by Infertility Warrior at 06:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

For any of you that have checked out the About page from www.lifemedals.com and/or watched the video piece on me, this is old news.  For those of you that haven't .  .  .  after 5 years and 13 procedures I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy late last year!!  I didn't share this on the blog for a couple reasons:  1. After going through so much disappointment, I almost couldn't believe it and didn't want to 'jinx' my miracle.  2. This blog is intended to be a powerful advocate for women going through infertility and sometimes learning of pregnancies can hurt.  So I waited.

Becoming a mom after infertility.  For me it was an incredible gift, absolute magic.  I loved every step, although I had some scary weeks in the beginning and most of the discomfort that pregnant women endure, it was totally overshadowed by my gratefulness of the miracle that was happening to me.  The birth was not easy, but I soldiered through with only a little pain medication and within an hour of giving birth my sister asked if I would do it again and I replied "absolutely." 

Certainly, the circumstance was not how I had always dreamed it would be.  I am single and often wondered wistfully what it would have been like to have shared this with a man I loved.  Sometimes that was very hard, my heart hurt, but I never regretted my choice - never.  Financially the stress is intense as I still work to get publicity for Life Medals, but I hope that it will turn around some how, some day soon (hey anyone know Oprah??)  Of course, I will do whatever it takes to provide for my little guy.

For all of you that are still fighting I will tell you with no hesitation that all the heartache, physical pain, financial pain, etc - it was worth it all.  My son was worth the effort and worth the wait and he is my living, cooing, smiling lesson every day to NEVER GIVE UP!

Posted by Infertility Warrior at 06:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

I am very excited to be featured in an article in this month's issue (Jan 2010) of Curve Magazine entitled "Five Tips To Fight Infertility - The Infertility Warrior shares her top strategies"

Although I am straight, I remember breaking down while watching Rosie O'Donnell's documentary on her gay family cruises because I felt such a kinship with gay women and men that want to start a family.  I realized that as an infertile woman I had much more in common with their obstacles than with straight men and women that easily conceived.  I watched as two women got "the call" to tell them their last procedure didn't work and I cried with them, knowing that moment all too well.

As I have said before, just because it is more difficult for some of us to become parents doesn't mean we shouldn't be. 

Posted by Infertility Warrior at 02:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

When I created the Infertility Awareness symbol, I truly believed there was a need for a symbol to raise awareness and compassion to the millions around the world struggling to have a baby.    I have been happy that so many others have agreed and have bought t-shirts, coffee mugs and other gifts through Cafe Press.  But wow was I surprised and honored when two women married to men serving in the Middle East e-mailed me to tell me they were getting tattoos of the symbol and the word "Warrior" to honor their personal struggles with infertility. 

One of the women has already had her happy ending with twins this past July and the other woman is still fighting the good fight.  There stories are ones of courage, resilience, and hope and here is the picture of the tattoo that they sent me.  These women ROCK and they will forever raise awareness, understanding, and compassion in a most personal way.  Thank you Jade and Erica!

Posted by Infertility Warrior at 02:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

The Infertility Warrior Blog is honored to be named one of Ultra Healthy's "Top 50 Blogs for a Healthy Pregnancy" - under the category of infertility. 

You can find advice about health, fitness, labor, breastfeeding and advocacy, all designed to help you to stay healthy both physically and mentally through pre-conception and beyond!

Posted by Infertility Warrior at 02:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

If you have read my blog you will know how fierce my attitude is about changing the way society thinks of infertility.  My work will not be done until Infertility is reframed into an admirable fight - removing the shame and stigma that makes an already heartbreaking ordeal into plain torture at times.  RAISING AWARENESS that will result in understanding and compassion.  I have found two women that share that goal .  .  .

Recently I received a copy of a guidebook called "Do You Love Someone Who Is Infertile?" and I gobbled it up!  It is hard to explain how validating this book was to my experience and I would imagine millions of other women.  Great to read for yourself, but an excellent hand out for your husband/partner, mother/mother-in-law, and sisters/close friends.  (In my utopia it would be required reading for every fertility doctor!)  Even if they skim and read parts of it, I do believe it will help them 'get it' a bit more and show them that YOU ARE NOT CRAZY or "milking it" or "overreacting."  I loved how the book talked about how infertility changes you, shapes who you are, forever.

The book explains in simple language why infertility often hits women so much harder than it hits men.  Were most men playing mommy and nurturing their dolls when they were young?  Maybe some, but most were playing with cars, balls, and wrestling each other.  I LOVED how they addressed the "Gift of Anger" and how it was healthy - which you know I believe in because of the Infertility Warrior and her strong, fierce, determined stance. 

The book is available on Amazon, but the best place to get your copy is at The Stewart Institute For Infertility where they have lots of information.  The writers have the credentials - Shari DeGraff Stewart struggled with infertility and is a therapist, her co-author, Julia Fichtner Krahm is her close friend that although 'fertile' was by her friend's side all the way and worked hard to understand and support her during her many years of struggle. In other words she "got it." 

The Stewart Institute is currently offering free shipping for this book and plans on coming out with others to address the emotional side of infertility.  I encourage everyone in this infertility fight to get this book.  At 55 pages and $12.95 it is affordable and not overwhelming to suggest a loved one read it.  I have not seen anything out there that rang as true as this book did - seriously, check out Do You Love Someone Who Is Infertile? or put it on your holiday wish list (a good way to get it in your hands as well as the person who buys it for you!!)

Posted by Infertility Warrior at 07:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I am very excited to debut the new and improved solid sterling silver pendant that started it all at Life Medals - the Fertility Hope pendant now featuring a 'frosted' finish.  I think it looks great and hopefully you will too.  Here is a picture of the Fertility Hope pendant (approx 1" diam) and the Life Charm pendant (approx 1/2" diam):

Also available: the Mother Child pendant, the Mother Charm, the Weight Loss Motivation pendant, and the Cancer pendant.  A great gift of encouragement and empowerment for a loved one or yourself!

Posted by Infertility Warrior at 06:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)